Pastor's Page: Successful Marriages
September 12, 2010
"And the two shall become as one." Marriages in the 21st century are challenged on many levels. Fidelity and lifetime commitment are threatened by movies and TV programs that showcase infidelity and an easy way out approach to marital conflict.
A recent survey by the Center for applied research in the apostolate, sponsored by our US bishops, revealed that married couples found the following values as most important in their marriage.
Honesty, commitment, respect, and fidelity-loyalty, were given the highest priority. These values were followed by other core values such as working through problems, patience, compromise, forgiveness, acceptance, being friends, humor, and spending time together.
Marriages run into difficulties and couples need to seek help because of challenges surrounding finances, finding quality time together, and learning how to listen and deal with differences of opinion.
Unfortunately, the study revealed that two thirds of the married couples would only be "a little likely" to seek help with their marital difficulties. When couples do seek help they do so primarily from family members, prayer, and friends. Only 41% would turn to a marital counselor when referred to one. 33% would seek help from a priest or the pastor of the parish.
Catholics whose marriages failed stated that the following issues would have helped them ‘at least somewhat’ to avoid or better deal with their marital troubles. These themes were: more effective communication, learning how to balance family and career, and developing a deeper relationship with God in their personal life and their marriage.
Catholics are most likely to believe that divorce is acceptable when there is physical abuse and/or emotional abuse (92 to 96%). 85% would find divorce acceptable for infidelity.
71% of Catholics believe ‘at least somewhat’, that couples today do not take marriage seriously enough in a society where divorce is easily acceptable.
Peace,
Father Bruce
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